Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
