we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
