i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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