It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
