Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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