Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
