is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
