Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
