i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
