Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He kissed a someone with a penis
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
