How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
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Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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