your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
