there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
