just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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