I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
