she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
