Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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