Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
