): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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