Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
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If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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