it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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