i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
