You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
