i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
