I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
