he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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