Whod you bang
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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