its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
