I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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