Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
