You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
