So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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