she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize