This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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