Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
