She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just high enough for therapy.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
