One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
