I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
