I hate your face
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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