her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
