Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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