omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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