I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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