Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
