Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize