I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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