I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
