Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
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Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
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You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Everyone says I win the strip club
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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