At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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