I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
