you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
