So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I am midnight drunk by noon
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
