He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
