I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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