Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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