We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
