that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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