I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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