next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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