So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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