KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
