NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
