So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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