dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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