I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
