So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
