I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
