five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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