pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
