This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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