my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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