well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
